Breast Feeding Older Children
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Breast Feeding Older Children: Is it wrong?
I saw this great story on abc's 20/20 on women who continue to breast feed their children past infancy. I have attached the link so you can watch the video or read the article; I would suggest watching the video because the images disturbed me a bit. The story is of a young woman with 3 children who she breast fed past kindergarten. You see her young son asking his mother for the breast, and this sight disturbed me a bit. Maybe it’s because I have never hear of this before, but it caught me off guard and therefore I reacted harshly. I just don’t get why a mother feels the need to continue breast feeding after your child can walk, and talk. I don’t have children so I shouldn’t judge parent’s for the decisions that they make but it just doesn’t look right to me. I feel that it might affect the child mentally. How will they learn to deal with tension, fear, disappointment, independently? There aren’t studies showing the results of a child who was breast fed after infancy, but children are mentally vulnerable and childhood events affect them as they grow. We just don't know which way it will affect a child. Will it be bad or good for them?
I do believe there is a large amount of women who breast feed their children after infancy. Like I said before, I don’t understand their reasons but just the other day I met someone who breast fed her children till they were 5 years old. I think many of the women feel somewhat shy or maybe embarrassed to mention the fact that they do this. I wish it wasn’t so though, if more women came out it probably wouldn’t of shocked me so much. Plus, people like me want to understand why this is going on. I want to know how they decided to do this; do you hide it from other? Do you feel embarrassed? When do you stop? Or do you just keep going till your child decides to quit? I want to know.
It’s also surprising to hear that the husbands of these women feel it’s no big deal. They say they can differentiate between breast for children and for breast for pleasure. Isn’t it hard to look at your wife breast feeding your older child and then feel turned on? But I guess it’s like any mother, the sex doesn’t fade because of childbirth. Men will be men and they do like naughty time. Don’t the men think it’s strange though? We hear a lot from the women but what about the men. Do men hide their real feeling, or is it true that they don’t mind?
I think I’ve said this before but I don’t feel completely comfortable judging a mother because I haven’t been there but I want to express my feeling so that someone can explain to me what is behind this.
ABC 20/20 News Story
- http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=6551439&page=1
Breast Feeding Past Infancy
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Let's hear from you!
Do you feel breast feeding after infancy is appropriate?
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How can it be wrong, when a child's natural weaning age is so much later than a year or so?
My sisters, brother and I were all still breastfed at 2, and all managed to leave Mummy long enough to get an education, leave home, and all the rest of it.
I can see how this upsets some people. It is a natural form of birth control as long as mama is lactating. May be that's why some do it for so long a time.
My youngest son was breast fed until he was 3 1/2 and he is now a strong marine in service to our country. I was not in support of this but my wife knew it would be her last child and she had decided to rather spoil him, it did bother me.
I hope that helps you foxility. Great hub too.
Yeah, it seems men have bigger problems with the idea than women.
'I just don’t get why a mother feels the need to continue breast feeding after your child can walk, and talk.'
Because it is actually a lot of fun, according to my wife :)
I would assume this would mess up a child's pyshcologically, isn't there specific sexual stages a child is suppose to go through to become a normal, healthy adult?
I would be terrified of messing up my child for life by doing this.
So you mean we are not messed up for life anyway?
Those that went without breastfeeding at all, those that were deprived of the breast too early, those that never seen a naked body, those that die believing sex is evil - all those are not messed up? Gimme a break :)
Why is it wrong to breast feed a child when he is 5 but it is ok if he takes a bottle or has a dummy at the same age? Breastfedding is just a way of nurturing your child.
I breastfed my children until they were 1 and they decided to stop by themselves, otherwise I would not have stopped, it was a great experience we both enjoyed. My grandmother breastfed my father until he was 5 and he is an equilibrated man, married for more than 30 years to the same woman and excellent father and a very responsible person.
Great food for thought hub!
I fed my daughter until she was a year, and my son until he was nearly two, and I know quite a few mothers who have breast-fed for a similar amount of time. I don't actually know of any Mums still feeding their babies much beyond two, but I suspect that many Mums would be too embarrassed to let people know, as people do look down on it.
"I would assume this would mess up a child's pyshcologically, isn't there specific sexual stages a child is suppose to go through to become a normal, healthy adult?"
You know what they say about assuming, it makes an ass out of you and me...
Why should it be psychologically or sexually damaging, for goodness sake? Not being breastfed at all, now there's damaging.
Oh! well I don't think that not being breast fed is damaging, and I don't see why it would be
My son actually breast fed until he was two, so he's only been off a few months, I didn't find anything really wrong with it except that when he didn't sleep through the night because he wanted to be fed and I know it drained my wife everyday. In my household, her lack of sleep, affected everything.
"Oh! well I don't think that not being breast fed is damaging, and I don't see why it would be"
It damages a baby's health. Breastmilk is perfectly designed to be suitable nutrition for a baby. Formula is an inadequte approximation. Formula-fed children are more likely to get ill, more likely to develope allergies, more likely to die in infancy.
"Oh! well I don't think that not being breast fed is damaging, and I don't see why it would be"
It damages a baby's health. Breastmilk is perfectly designed to be suitable nutrition for a baby. Formula is an inadequte approximation. Formula-fed children are more likely to get ill, more likely to develope allergies, more likely to die in infancy.
I now have three children and my third is now two months old. All three were breast fed and my baby still is. My first was weaned at 11 months because she weaned herself (she supplemented with a bottle at nights and when we left her with a sitter on date nights), my 2nd barely took a bottle and nursed till he was 18 months old and I weaned him when I became pregnant with my third because he was biting me for one and for the other I was concerned that I was losing too much weight from nursing and thereby depleting nutrition from my pregnancy. He loved to nurse and probably would've nursed a lot longer if I let him however. But I remember when I nursed in the Mother's room at church getting some odd looks when people found out how old he was. I would say on average most Mothers rarely nurse past the age of 1 yrs old, which is actually the recommended age to nurse to minimum by most Doctors standard, all though they are happy if your baby is nursed to at least 6 months. Here's my take on breastfeeding past infancy. I believe that God created breastmilk as a perfect nutritional supplement to provide for your baby before they are able to take solid food. Once they can adequately eat solid food there really is no nutrional reason for them to "need" breastmilk. I don't think it will hurt them physically in any way, however physcolgically is another story. How far back to most people have memories of their childhood. The earliest age I believe most of us remember is let's say 4 years of age. Well frankly I don't think I want memories of me sucking at my mother's breast. I would be quite embarassed, possibly even traumitized by that memory. I'm okay with seeing pictures of me nursing as an infant because that just seems natural. But I would be a little weirded out to see myself as a six or seven year old breastfeeding with my Mom. It just doesn't look "normal" to me. I also don't think it's fair to the husbands to have to "share" with their kids for that long of a period of time. Most men seem to think they have ownership of their wives breasts I hate to say it, but it's true.
It also bothers me to see children using a pacifier or bottle way past the age of 3 years old. I think that should end by at least two years old for the sake of their teeth if nothing else.
Nursing a child until any age is not in any way damaging them psychologically or emotionally. But it is completely unnecessary. A child who can eat solid foods themselves and is getting a wide variety of healthy foods has no need for breastmilk any longer.
I feel that most moms who nurse their children past about eighteen months, do it for their own sake. It's something emotionally that they don't want to let go of. And then you get to the point of no return. You reach a point where you're now ready to stop, but the child will not. And they're too old to easily wean.
I breastfed my first, and am breastfeeding my second, until they're one year old. But when your child is old enough to lift your shirt and say, "Give me some milk, Mama!", it's time to stop.
I think your right Sarah, a mother shouldn't breast feed if the child can eat solid food. It's just selfish for the mother to breast feed past necessity.
The WHO recommend breastfeeding until the age of 2 as a minimum.
londongirl says formula is "inadequete".Well, I believe nursing is natural,and I have four-year-old twin girls that I would have loved to breastfeed,but my body did't produce milk,so I fed them formula.I believe them to be in great health, despite the "formula"I fed them.Also, I'm agreeing with Sarah on this, breastfeeding is totally unnecessary past the age of one.And I think, really pretty strange to think about.
Formula is great if the mother can't BF, and has saved a lot of babies' lives. Had it not been invented, we'd be worse off.
But it's not as good as breastmilk. A hell of a lot better than normal cow's milk, but not as good.
I find it strange that so many women, and mothers, condem something completely natural and healthy.
I have no strong feelings either way. My son made up his own mind about it and we went from there. In some of the Pacific islands where I worked in we definitely referenced WHO and encouraged moms till about 2 - mainly because they were using formula as they perceived it as being 'better,' and were also spending unnecessarily on it (and sometimes mixing it incorrectly or with water that wasn't well- boiled) when often they were able to BF.
I have had four children. I breast fed them all. They all stopped themselves at different ages. Starting with stopping during the day time and then eventually just to go to sleep at night and then no more. It is actually a necessary bonding experience between mother and baby. It is also the best nutrition for a baby. God just made it that way. There is plenty of research on it. Have you ever sucked on a rubber dummy / pacifier. It is horrible. It tastes horrible and leaves a weird film inside your whole mouth. My kids never had dummies or bottles. A man made formula could never compare with a mother's milk. Of course it is sometimes necessary but should be a last resort. What does it matter what another mother does anyway. It is her choice. If a husband can't handle it, he shouldn't have planted his seed in the first place.
LondonGirl "It damages a baby's health. Breastmilk is perfectly designed to be suitable nutrition for a baby. Formula is an inadequte approximation. Formula-fed children are more likely to get ill, more likely to develope allergies, more likely to die in infancy."
well said!! 2 thumbs up. out of my 5 i have breastfead 3. they were almost 2. am still breastfeeding now shes 13 months.
wow read some reliable info about the subject before posting shear nonsense and then you won't be making uneducated and rather silly remarks about breastfeeding. So much disinformation is out there being spread not as personal opinion but as fact. 2 Years is a MINIMUM reccomendation by WHO and they also state that it is up to every INDIVIDUAL mother and child to decide the time for weaning. Show me the study that says it is harmful to let a child wean themselves and i will show you 120 studies that say it is the only perfect food for humans, the ONLY perfect food. Not to mention tthe emotional benifits and health benifits. It is quite obvious that Foxility is not well read on this subject and has therefore made some glaring errors in judgement. It is a sad day when we can not tolerate the most natural act of any animal, nourishing our young(physically and emotionally).
The "up to 2" breastfeeding reccomendation was meant for mothers in developing countries with infants that would not get a proper nutrition or immunization otherwise. Children who have proper food available, and live in a healthy environment do not need to breast feed for that long. I do think it could be psychologically damaging, but then again most things are considered so by some, so I guess each mother should decide what's best for her child.
There is a video on youtube of a woman in England breastfeeding her daughter at the age of 7 (almost 8). That is just wrong and severely disturbing! Breastfeeding is a beautiful part of a child's life but not when they're walking and talking. No offense but any child 3yrs and older is too big to be breastfeeding! They already got the nutrition they need. It's just wrong!
Breast feeding is the first preference for children growth.
Twinkle it may be wrong for you or anybody that thinks a mother nurturing her 8yo daughter is wrong. But to each their own. As long as there is nothing malicious going on then there is nothing the matter. Alot of cultures and societies differ in many ways, its only understandable that families too will differ in these areas.
The world average weaning age for humans is 4 years old
As such it is not weird or bad to breastfeed older children. After all it is the motherly instinct of protecting the children and not any sexy act.
In developed countries, breastfeeding beyond a certain age means a wrong act.
In certain underdeveloped countries children are breastfed until they reach the age of 9. It is just because of the nonavailability of the needed medical facility , whereby nourishment is near by way of breastfeeding.
An understanding is needed in this part.
Kamala_ram
kamala_ram@rediffmail.com
why not it feels good emily
Please -- breastfeeding is not only good for a little one, once they can walk and talk, it also helps with coordination and their verbal reasoning and ability to be in touch with their feelings.
My near 3 year old is feeding and he looks at me and tells me that he is sad, or that I am crying because I have been subjected to such and such. He has a Huge vocab, and is a child that is aware of other children and how they feel, he has comforted older and younger children since he found movement and awarness that others where about.
He is a leader and a confident all round child --- I guess you could say that feeding has nothing to do with it, But i do wonder --- i see so many other children that do not have the same feeding background and they are not as mature and aware as he is.
I am also sure that he has not had any of the illness that most children do, i think again a credit to feeding.
Let me tell you it is HARD, AND TOUGH at times, but i dont do it for me -- it is for HIM, he is the one that who lets me know what is going on.
What i do know is that breastfeeding is hard work, it is tough on the mum and can be at times skin crawling and you do sometimes want to throw the towel in but you cant give a child back, you can stop, and i will at sometime but i will hang on for him for as long as i can.
I know that for each day i can keep going, he wins!
So, give women who choose to look after their children in this way a fair go. Its not as easy as it looks and takes a big struggle often to keep going, i know it does for me.
Before I had my son, I thought that breastfeeding a toddler was weird too. Now I realize how ignorant I was. It is worth noting that world-wide, more than half of children are breastfeed at 20-23 months old! You can find world-wide statistics and statistics by country at: http://www.childinfo.org/breastfeeding_status.html
I am still nursing my 2+ yr old. I wish that he was ready to move on, but he still has a very real need for his mummy milk. Breast milk is great nutrition for a toddler, and means that I don't need to worry so much about balancing his diet and getting him to eat solids when he is ill etc. Of course, a two year old could be perfectly well nourished without breast milk, but breastfeeding is about much more than nutrition. It is comforting, relaxing, helps get toddlers to sleep, and acts as a reset switch when they become overwhelmed by emotion. My two year old is very independent and confident, in part because he knows that when it all gets too much he can have his baby comfort.
Scientific research by Katherine A. Dettwyler, PhD shows that 2.5 to 7.0 years of nursing is what our children have been designed to expect (Dettwyler 1995).
A commonly held misconception is that extended breastfeeding will create an overly dependent toddler. In fact, researchers have found the opposite to be true. Studies show that “there are statistically significant tendencies for conduct disorder scores to decline with increasing duration of breastfeeding.” (11) Elizabeth Baldwin sums up the psychological and developmental findings in Extended Breastfeeding and the Law as follows:
“Meeting a child's dependency needs is the key to helping that child achieve independence. And children outgrow these needs according to their own unique timetable. Children who achieve independence at their own pace are more secure in that independence then children forced into independence prematurely.”
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits
i found multiple pages stating this
HELLO ITS YOUR FRIEND SCIENCE KNOCKING LET ME IN!!!
I support whatever women want to do and develops naturally. Nothing is absolutely right or wrong in this arena. And to the folks who think not being breast fed is absolutely damaging, that is messed up. I am the first of 3 children. In the 80's nurses were taking babies from mama at delivery and giving them bottles right off. Ah nipple confusion. My mom tried to get me to breast feed for over 6 weeks, she was very distraught about not being able to get me to. My mom is an RN. After a lot of doctor/nurse help, she eventually she gave up. I am perfectly fine, I love my mother to a fault. I have some weight issues, though, and my mom thinks being half starving while she was trying to get me to breast feed was more the problem. When I finally was getting enough food, I was gulping and stuffing it down! The key is here that babies need to eat!
Given the AAP's recommendations -- 1 year minimum -- I think that any period of time up to 2 years ought to be respected, whether they are breastfeeding at home or in public.
I do, however, believe there is a healthy limit, based on my own experience as a close family member of a child not weaned until 4. The older he grew, the more he clawed at MY chest and attempted constantly to unbutton my shirts to gain access to my breasts as well. The mother of this child, meanwhile, was something of an exhibitionist, going out of her way to open her shirt in public places and breastfeed this older child in front of men. Emotionally, her son had extreme difficulty ever being away from her until after he was weaned, and she seemed to revel in the attention, the shock value and the amount of control the situation provided. I never said a word in opposition, as I felt it was not my place and knew it would not be welcome. But I do believe, in this instance at least, extended breastfeeding both contributed to and was a sign of some dysfunction.
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http://www.babykids-123.com/pregnancy/
thank for your info
goldentoad 3 years ago
Its wrong, definitely wrong. A kid shouldn't be able to walk up and start suckin. cut the kid off at an early age and give those chi chi's back to poppa.